name: sin
age: older than I'd like to be
religion: buddhist punk
occupation: full-time sloth


Mini Playlist
click the green arrow for musical accompaniment
Smells Like Teen Spirit
Luka









Powered by TagBoard Message Board
Name

URL or Email

Messages(smilies)









PostSecret
Entensity.net
Chaos Lynn
Spitting Well
Life in a Coconut Husk
Life of a Kuantan Boy
Teh Tarik vs Caramel Macchiato
Young & Childish
Carolynn's
Squatblog
You Know You Want It













  • March 2006
  • April 2006
  • August 2006
  • February 2007
  • March 2007
  • April 2007
  • May 2007
  • March 2008







  • Tuesday, March 27, 2007

    Creepy.



    Does this guy look like anyone we know...?

    >.>

    <.<

    Oh, and before I forget


    sin was obviously very bored at 12:15 AM
    3 comments

    Friday, March 23, 2007

    The Poll



    sin was obviously very bored at 1:52 PM
    1 comments

    Wednesday, March 14, 2007

    The Malaysian Brain Drain

    Ok, this issue has been on my mind for awhile. Malaysia is facing (or not facing) a huge problem - the brain drain. The talented pool of young citizens are leaving the country to chase their dreams elsewhere, build futures in other nations and carve out opportunities in unfamiliar lands. Not that all these are impossible in Malaysia itself but it's just too hard.

    A vast majority of my peers of my age/social/economic status (young adult, middle to upper-middle class) are bent on not returning to Malaysia after they graduate. I'm talking about the future engineers, biochemists, pharmacists, psychologists (ummm, yeah.) and other future professionals that just have no faith in the possibility of building a secure and comfortable life back in their Kampung. It's really disheartening when I look at friends like Adele and Ken Jin and Carolynn, all of whom are extremely intelligent, resourceful and talented... and they're all pretty sure they aren't too keen to slave for their motherland.

    So what's the problem? Malaysia - no natural disasters, good weather, plenty of good food, chock-a-block of mamaks, friends & family, burgeoning economy (therefore, potential for good jobs, etc)... What's not to like about it?

    The answer? Outright discrimination. In-your-face racist policies.

    I'm sorry, but it's really the simplest answer. Let's face it, without Kulit-fication (*kulit = skin) in Malaysia, it doesn't matter how good you are, you're going to have to face the fact that there will be a glass ceiling preventing you from reaching the top. Short of changing your birth certificate and undergoing major plastic surgery and facial reconstruction, you can't really change your race. The government and even some citizens can deny it all they want, but the fact remains that a lot of the young, informed and bright people of this generation think it and if we were truly honest with ourselves, we would realize the sad reality that the best of us are simply disillusioned with the public policies that are essentially there to curb opportunities for us.

    To be honest, I am all for affirmative action to help other races catch up or be on par with the ones excelling on top. Boosting those from the bottom would definitely level the playing field allowing for what would be equal opportunities. But really, when we look at the implementations of policies in Malaysia, sometimes even unspoken socio-cultural ones, what is happening is that the ones at the top are either pushed down or made to feel like they don't belong - so they leave. It's all about putting the idea in your head. Once you start believing that home isn't really home for you... it's easy to make that kind of decision. Do us non-kulitficationed people really feel like we have the remotest possibility of contributing to the country in, say, politics? education? Chinese represent 24% of the population - are there that many in government positions? Which Malaysian university has a non-kulitfied dean or president?

    Even in private enterprise... we all know the 30% shareholder rule. I can't even own my business without being forced to give part of it away (for no other reason than to spread the wealth to those who don't really have to work for it at all) if/when it becomes so successful that it is a public listed company. Is that fair? Seriously. What about the companies 100% owned by a certain race... are they required to "share" a piece of their wealth in the interest of "racial integration"?

    I'm not really here to convince anyone of anything they don't already know or believe. I'm just stating the idea that something must be wrong when a large amount of the cream from our crop of young Malaysians don't share the convictions of our leaders that try to instill the idea that Malaysia is the place to be. Undoubtedly opportunity will always be there for you to find... one can even say you create your own opportunities. If young Malaysians truly believed that they can achieve their dreams and fulfill their potentials (keep in mind, this is an informed and intelligent generation), why would they want to leave?

    From a humanistic psychological point of view, we are driven to fulfil some human desire to serve oneself's interest in achieving goals. I believe that this can be taken into a macro persepective; we also want to achieve common (be it family, community, or national) goals. Fulfilling personal goals doesn't usually have as many external obstacles, it's a matter of self-motivation to get out and do it. But there is a larger social goal that I think is a driving force of patriotism and the human tendency to work for the betterment of each other as a whole. Working for something we believe in does make us feel a part of the larger movement that we belong and contribute.

    So where does Malaysia fit in to this?

    As a Malaysian of the "wrong" race, there is always that notion there that I am not "Malaysian". I am constantly reminded that I am "Cina" despite the fact that my family can trace it's roots in the country for at least the past 120 years or so. I do cherish my cultural heritage, true, but when it makes an impact on which schools I go to and which scholarships I won't get - hell yeah, it matters. Do I feel bitter that I am discriminated against for something which I did not choose for myself? Yes. That in itself, prevents me from truly achieving personal goals. I love my country but if I was going to want to be the Prime Minister... I know that's not going to happen.
    DESPITE the fact that I am a patriot, extremely passionate about the future of the country, a genius planner, etc etc... nope, wrong color - you're out. So yeah, that's a far-fetched personal goal but it illlustrates my point about the glass ceiling. It's invisible but it's there and you can't break through it.

    Larger social goals... where do non-Malays fit in? When was the last time we had a truly multi-racial committee chair, say, the department for public safety? If we wanted, could we truly contribute to the country and have contributions recognized? I see successful Malaysians scorned upon for being succesful - "oh, orang cina... biasa lah." Almost as if it was our very virtue of persistence and hard work was a negative one. Granted, I am not generalizing that EVERYONE says it. But it is expected of us to be successful through no government help - they don't really want to help us but WHY? Are we not part of the community, trying to achieve common goals of making the country better - not just for ourselves but for my Sikh/Malay/Iban/Chinese neighbor?

    So this blatantly racist agenda is working. We are leveling the playing field by rejecting the best and keeping the rest.

    Good luck with that, Malaysia.

    sin was obviously very bored at 10:13 AM
    7 comments

    Monday, March 12, 2007

    THE Q strikes again!


    THE Q: Fighting Over Channels With THING Because THE Q Wants To Watch "BEAUTY AND THE GEEK" And THING Wants CNN

    sin was obviously very bored at 9:06 PM
    0 comments

    The "L" Word

    So, my biopsychology exam is tomorrow and I've just been procrastinating and doing everything except studying for it. Don't ask me why, but the sheer expanse of endless chemicals and neurons and anatomy is just too overwhelming.

    Biopsychology takes a really microscopic view of human beings. Everything is just boiled straight down to the the little itty-bitty chemical shocks in your brain. The formula is down here:

    YOU = [(Chemicals*236) + PEWPEWPEW] + genes^2 / experiences*0.3

    That's all we are. Just liquids in a petri dish all interacting and charging ions which fire action potentials.

    And here I am, trying to tackle the "L" word - Love. No offence, but the use of the word Love is overrated, overused and over-obsessed about. I guess it's not just because nearly every piece of literature, art, music, attempts to cram the idea of what love is (or at least, feels like) into our chemical-bomb brain but more that society practically requires us to love - like as if our lives mean less without it. And we all know that the meaning of our "life" is to follow what society dictates is acceptable, right?

    Love is simple, really. It is dopamine, norepinephrine and phenylethylamine. Yup, dopamine as in: works exactly like cocaine... makes you all happy and floaty on puffy clouds of air. Like wheeeeeee... So, it's no secret that people get withdrawal-like symptoms at a perceived "loss" of love (be it an item, person, intangible goal). You wanna be in LOVE, baby? Just take these three chemicals, ingest appropriate doses (actually, the more the better)... and VOILA! Instant inspiration so you can go out and write poetry about comparing [insert random person/object] to a summer's day and saying it's more beautiful than [insert random flowering plant].

    I'm being a cynic. But it's too scary to think that the existence/presence of another person can affect my physiological well-being to that kind of extent. I mean, DUDE, you are messing with my brain-chemistry! What if it's all bad reactions and my brain explodes into a cosmic chemical mush of liquidy slime?

    sin was obviously very bored at 10:05 AM
    2 comments

    Friday, March 09, 2007

    The Q




    And I hereby present:

    Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket
    "THE Q"

    It's sculpted by yours truly from plaster based on the artist's own hand proportions. From now on, "The Q" will represent the artist in every picture in this blog since self-images are overrated now. (Oh, and I'm an artist who wants to be understood.)


    Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket
    "THE Q: In a Kitchen With Shiny Tiles Contemplating The Effects of Heat"

    Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket
    "THE Q: Walking In Someone Else's Shoes"


    Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket
    THE Q: Being Emo in Black Folds of Curtain

    Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket
    THE Q: Being Emo in Black Folds of Curtain from A Slightly Different Angle

    sin was obviously very bored at 2:46 PM
    0 comments

    Drama, Drama



    Ok, so I haven't put up the pictures like I promised.

    But since my name is Sin, I think I'm entitled to procrastinate and lie (a bit). At least I'm updating this, so be grateful. =p



    Due to recent events, I've come to realize that I'm probably the biggest hypocrite when it comes to being a drama queen. Come to think about it, I'm smarter (or at least, I like to think I am) than the average in-your-face drama queen. I'm more subtle... sneaky. But an attention seeker nonetheless.

    Is it a female phenomenon? It seems so... I catch myself doing it and later think "omg, what a perfectly idiotic thing to do." It's pathetic cries of attention and I'm sure lots of people do it and think back to how completely childish their actions were. Kind of like a 5-year-old stamping her feet on the ground except that we have a bigger vocabulary and encyclopedic knowledge on how to best get the reaction(s) we want.

    I say I hate it when others do it (I guess cos it's I don't generally like the general public) but it's I really need to grow up and act like an adult who has the right to vote. I'm way too old to throw temper tantrums now.

    It gets me what I want (kind of like terrorism - if you do enough, you'll get the attention). But it's just wrong.

    sin was obviously very bored at 10:18 AM
    0 comments

    Wednesday, March 07, 2007

    Cleanliness is Next to Godliness



    I'm getting old.

    I know this because yesterday night, for no apparent reason, I had the sudden urge to clean the house. And I'm not saying like putting-dishes-away kind of cleaning. Out-of-the-blue, I scrubbed the whole kitchen down with kitchen cleaner and disinfectant and brushed the tiles like my sanity depended upon spotless tiles.

    And then I rearranged the things around the kitchen counters and put away appliances that we seldom use.

    ... And after that, I scrubbed the bathroom down till it looked like a hospital lavatory (less Malaysian public types... more privately-owned Singaporean type).

    So yeah, I do feel some odd sense of achievement or pride (and disgust). I mean, I wasn't really brought up to clean alot. I think what really characterizes my childhood is SPOILT. I never had to do dishes or help with laundry. I never had to clean my school shoes. I didn't even have to stack the books on my desks neatly cos "Kak" always did it for me. Basically, from the time I wake up, everything was done for me - breakfast was ready, my uniform ironed and on the front of my wardrobe (with badge and name tag already pinned on it), my lunchbox prepared. And even while waiting for the bus, someone opened the gates for me. Coming home, I just leave dirty clothes on he floor and they would magically disappear. Meals were always ready (and if I wanted a snack, I could always ask for it) and everything was just so prepared for me...

    Looking back, that is messed up. I mean, I love my parents and I think they did a good job and everything but really, it's hard to do "housework" when you aren't really trained to do it your whole life. Everyone knows you pick up/learn easily when you're young and if you consistently do it, you get more efficient and you build up habits. Seriously, if I was given more responsibility as a kid, I don't think cleaning would be as much a dread as it is now.

    It's kind of paradoxical. I am so used to clean but terrible at cleaning. I guess when no one else is doing it for me, it just gets stressful and I do find myself in a bad mood when stuff aren't in the right order (yes yes, anal retentive =P)...

    But anyway, I'll post up pictures later.

    sin was obviously very bored at 10:07 AM
    0 comments

    Monday, March 05, 2007

    A Year in Reflection



    So I just noticed that I created my first post for this blog exactly a year ago... And what has changed since then? Nothing. Well, besides finally transferring to a uni in the US I feel like I've not accomplished anything that I would be proud of in the span of 12 months.

    So Kitky asked me how California is... To be honest, I really like the weather here and since I got here, I'm quite sure it has rained 5 times in total (not even big jungle rain like Malaysia), those sprinkly happy "splash in the sun" type of rain. I've haven't really made alot of friends, but that's to be expected due to my schedule and laziness to participate in social activities (and the fact that I am socially inept =P). Classes have been going well, alot of the psych professors are amazing and I'm hoping to get into the Honors Society for Psychology very soon.

    But why this "empty" feeling? I think it's the fact that I'm 21 and just haven't done anything. Alexander the Great had already started his world conquest at 18, Mozart was well on his way to becoming the most famous composer of his time, Joan of Arc defeated the English at 17 (and got burned at 19, so I outlived her - if that's an accomplishment)... So yeah, maybe I'm unrealistic in comparing myself to history's greats. But even by today's standards I feel like I fall short. Graduating at 21? Nope. Getting into a good uni? Nope. Saved the world's orphans? Not really my kind of thing, but I haven't done that either.

    So maybe I'm going through a mid-young-adult-life crisis, looking for an answer or path as to what my purpose in life is. Am I doomed to be one of the mindless consumers and entertainment junkies whose only role in existence is to feed global conglomerates and live a boring, day-to-day insignificant life? The average citizen in the centre of a normally distributed bell curve? Full-time consumer, sloth and contributor to pollution because I don't recycle?

    You know what... Someone has to do it, I guess.

    sin was obviously very bored at 11:37 AM
    5 comments

    This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?

    Site design COPYRIGHT 2006/2007 by Sin. Copyright violation will be punishable by death via sloth homicide or mulberry strangulation.